Remember that moment each year you got your new school diary? I always loved it: searching for a nice one at the 'Back To School Campus', and then filling it with all kinds of personal stuff, to make it your own. I don't know why i did not keep those old skool ones, or perhaps they are still at my parents place.
I still love doing this, but developed some new hobby with it: making ordinary notebooks into diaries. Some people called me nuts for doing this, but who cares?
I like doing this for several reasons. First of all, just the fun to make something the way you (sort of) want it. Second: because this way it's much cheaper, you don't need to buy fancy stuff anymore. And last but certainly not least: old notebooks don't have to be thrown away, but can be refurbished.
It's always nice to feel and scroll through the old diaries once in a while.
What strikes me mostly, is that i totally forgot about the kinds of appointments i had at the time, and with whom.
For example in the 1990 diary, i now notice i had several appointments with Gruïde, about whether he was or was not the father of my son (at that time already almost 5 years old). We went to have bloodtests, also with Henrique and with my son. It turned out the closest match was with Henrique.
At that time i was still very much in love with Gruïde.
I don't think he was ever in love with me. We were 'dating' (depends on whether you consider having sex is 'dating') from 1983 until somewhere in 1984. Then i met Henrique, and somewhere in that time i became pregnant (which i only found out several months later), so it was not clear who was the actual father.
When meeting with Gruïde about this, he was quite emotional, and once he told me, that he had the gut feeling that Arie was his son. He had a son with his girlfriend of about the same age, and he said literally, that he felt Arie was more his son than his actual son Tron.
For a long time I did not have an official job, although sometimes i cleaned some houses for a while. I never had have a proper job after i left school, because like very much young people in the 80's, nobody wanted us. I'm born in 1963 and consider myself part of Generation X, although some might say i'm of the babyboom generation. If you would see my whole work timeline, it's obvious it's totally GenX. I have never been rich, never owned a house, had only for 5 years one steady job, after i lost that one too i had to jobhop from one flexjob to another, and have been without work for many longer periods of time. Like now.
But it explains the sometimes cheap-ass solutions for many things in my life. As with the diaries, for instance the budget one of 1991.
The thing i hate most of the usual premade diaries, is the amount of useless information. Like the 1993 diary:
The first 30+ pages are filled with the year calendars of 1992, 1993, 1994. Than the holidays and festive days of that year, the royal birthday's (WHY?), seasonal days, future festive days, school holidays, one page to fill in your personal free days. Than several pages of foreign festive days, measurements, windforce, earthquake scales, titles, distances in kilometres and the time it takes from one place to another by AIRPLANE (i had never been in an airplane at that time), roadside assistance stations (i did not have a car, and still don't), a table of distances in the Netherlands, traffic rules abroad, automatic international calling.
Sadly i lost some years, i guess because i started using an organizer. Only the ones from 2001 until 2007 i kept.
I like the comfy one i had in 2008; you have something to hold on to, in difficult situations. Like we have our phones now. For me i still like to use the paper ones, for this reason also. Whenever i have an appointment, i can put it on the table, write a bit, draw, just scroll a bit through the pages.
Although you have to take care, that people don't glance into it. I had several occasions, when someone peeped in my diary, and making assumptions or decisions based on what was written in it. I really hated that. They should have just asked, and be satisfied with whatever answer they got.
With the bigger notebooks i used, i made a separate notes-section. At first i used it well, but somehow i now have a separate, small notebook. And a terrible amount of pieces of paper on the loose, floating through the rooms, taking up space, and finally, at some point, ever, ending up in the paper bin.
I still need to fix some workarounds for that somehow.
1 / 50
This one i bought at the radical left bookshop and has a title: Dagelijks Druk, which can be translated as 'daily busy' but also as 'daily press (-ing)'. Apparently i did not like the front cover, so i altered it with black tape to keep only the eyes.
2 / 50
1990 first page spread;
At the rear side i mounted one of my weird (analog) holiday photos, that were left in the sun before developing, and looks more like some psychotrip than a family vacation. With a family like mine, there is not much difference though.
3 / 50
1990 some page spread;
It's full of leftist quotes, photo's, little comics, art and poetry.
4 / 50
Budget Agenda of the Nibud, the Dutch organisation for budget education.
5 / 50
So, this budgettairy thing must have been wise, although i did't help, after all you just get a very very minimum budget. Then you can budget your ass around as much as you'd like, but at the end of the month you have still many days left.
6 / 50
Yes, entering the nineties indeed. Whatever we now call 'biologic' food, was then called 'ecologic' and i went for the potatoes.
7 / 50
8 / 50
As you can see, it's first pages illustrates my 1991 description very well.
9 / 50
It is an agenda filling for an organizer, but i didn't have one.
10 / 50
I also had a Roald Dahl journal, i got it as a present, but i only used it the first couple of weeks, later on in the year only a few scribbles.
11 / 50
A real pocket agenda!
12 / 50
Cool poetry appointment there. (i won that prize in 1994 though, not then)
13 / 50
From 1994-2000 i did not keep the organizer fillings. These are very boring ofcourse, so that's why i stopped using this thing.
14 / 50
The nice, soft, lilac and pink diary, it felt very comfy.
15 / 50
I don't like quotes, still i attached this one at that time:
Don't choose with your head, but with your heart. Your mind is there to understand choices, not to make them.
16 / 50
Still an official diary i bought, but pimped it with stickers. The text one: Enter at your own risk!
17 / 50
Another sticker at the back.
18 / 50
And little ones inside to mark days of.
19 / 50
Again an official diary, but ofcourse i had to alter it. With a knife and red paint.
20 / 50
Just a boring one, but it felt nicely soft.
21 / 50
Just a simple red one.
22 / 50
The zebra kind of diary, and soft! Again: stickers!
23 / 50
Also a simple one, but stickered.
24 / 50
I made this one by hand; its cover is from some painted drawing i once made.
25 / 50
It's very thin, so it stops in august.
26 / 50
This one is made from a Redhat notebook i got at a Python event.
27 / 50
The sticker at the first page was meant completely sarcastic.
28 / 50
It has a secret pocket in the back, with nothing in it, unfortunately.
29 / 50
Again a very thin one. The sticker is from a webshop.
30 / 50
I can't remember why i made this drawing.
31 / 50
The second diary of this year. By now i think you know i love stickers.
32 / 50
2017 / 2017;
I had bought a stack of notebooks; and again a webshop sticker.
33 / 50
The second of 2017. The year i lost my job because of bullies.
34 / 50
I lost my job, and my health. 18 oct i was taken by ambulance from work. Never returned.
35 / 50
The LAMP POST one.
36 / 50
The simple one.
37 / 50
The 'i am in love' one.
38 / 50
And the Klebstoff (sticker mag) one.
39 / 50
I started to divide the bigger notebooks in two flipped over sections: 1 for diary, and the other for notes.
40 / 50
Same here: section Boring for the (chronicly ill boring) diary.
41 / 50
And the backflip part for the notes.
42 / 50
Some useless reminder.
43 / 50
And another one.
44 / 50
The most ugly diary i ever had. But i could order it together with the groceries, very pandemic wise.
45 / 50
This one i could order with some towels. In the beginning the cover was okay, but it became weirdly bent. It had not been near any heater or such.
46 / 50
Stickers by Klebstoff.
47 / 50
I used a tab divider from the Ugly 1.
48 / 50
The notes section stayed empty. Though the notes i make are all over the place. And in a little notebook.
49 / 50
I did not want to order anything, and this cashier journal was sleeping in the cupboard for years.
50 / 50
It barely fits in my backpack. It has lots of room for notes though. But will i use that?